Incentive

We all have those weightloss goals that we're aiming for, whether it be to lose 5lb, 50lb or 150lb and many of us keep weightloss journals to keep us accountable and to be able to 'see' the transformation via thoughts and feelings.

So what is your motivation? Your incentive? Your goals?

Mine, is to lose 70 lb. When do I want to do this by? - January!  Why? - because my husband and I are going on our first holiday in 3 years with our good friends that we barely manage to see because they live some 500 miles away.  These are the rare type of friend whereby we can not pick up the phone for a couple of months but everything is still perfectly normal when we do get round to talking - there is no expectation to have regular 'phone ins'.
By the time we go on holiday with our friends we won't have seen them for a few years but the minute we meet up it'll be like we've spent every day together - it's that easy!
So in January 2013 we'll be heading out to Jamaica for 2 weeks of all inclusive indulgence - a sunshine break that will be most welcome in the bleakest part of a UK winter

It's not just the holiday though. It's the fact that when I get there I want to be comfortable and I am determined that I will be able to wear nice clothes. I'm sick of going away and feeling like a fat frump when we dress up for dinner.
I want to wear flowing, cooling dresses and not have to consider hiding my arms and I do not want to avoid having my photo taken - I have no photographic memories of some lovely holidays because I refuse to have my picture taken.

So with this weightloss in mind (s**t it's weigh in tonight :(  I have taken the Insanity challenge. I do also run 2 - 3 times a week as I'm training for a 10k but Insanity has taken over.
Every morning I wake up in more muscle pain than the last but I know that once I get moving about the pain will ease and I manage to get through those workouts.
Today was Cardio Recovery. Now I'm not sure what definition of recovery Shaun T is working from here but let's just say, it's not as easy as I thought it would be.
Granted there's not a whole amount of demanding cardio but some of these moves and stretches.....damn! I'm not as supple as I had kidded myself I was!
I got through though and I am still loving this workout - I have never been so stoked about a workout in my life and tbh, no matter what pain I am in, hitting the play button is easy!

I'm suffering now though :(    I have Fibromyalgia and Narcolepsy and I know that if I do something demanding like Insanity it's going to knock me for 6 after a few days - I'm now shattered. I feel mentally and physically exhausted!
Not going to stop me though - who knew I could be so positive! - I'm up for the next round of Shaun T's insane workout tomorrow :D
Plus I think I may include Hip Hop Abs when I do the second round of insanity  :)

Dig Deep

Reality check: you can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight. At your goal weight or not, you still have to live with yourself and deal with your problems. You will still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same life. Losing weight is not a cure for life.
- Phillip C. McGraw

Ok so I'm only on Day 2 of Insanity (Day 3 if you include the fit test) but I can already see that this is a different workout to all the other DVD's I've bought that now reside in the DVD graveyard.
So many things make it different - the workouts for a start (they're hardcore), the motivation from Shaun T as he goes (somewhat like Billy blanks, except he doesn't stick his face right in the camera - can't decide whether that's a good or bad thing ;), but mostly I think it's the interaction - you really do not feel alone doing these BeachBody workouts.
I have a free online coach that is available to offer support, encouragement, motivation and answer any questions I have. His FB page also does the same.
The BeachBody website lets me log onto the forum and chat to others going through the same pain ;), make buddies and pretty much get all the extra motivation I need. I can also log every workout and record my stats as I go - very important for that TShirt that I am so going to earn :)
Today I have just completed Cardio Power & Resistance. What you have to bear in mind is when I got up at 6:30am I could barely move. My legs, hips and feet hurt so bad I was seriously worried about managing a workout. But I had some toast, drank a heap, donned the trainers and pressed play.
The workout was pretty much as knackering as I thought it would be - it's bloomin hard, especially if fat gets in the way of some of the moves like getting up from the floor very quickly, but I got through it by constantly saying out loud "I can do this".
Again I loved every painful moment of it. Insanity rocks!

Climb The Mountain

Climb The Mountain

I tried to climb the mountain today. As I inched my way up the path, I felt out of breath and had to turn back.
I tried to climb the mountain today. But, It was so hot outside, I thought I had better stay in my nice air-conditioned house and rest up for tomorrow's attempt.
I tried to climb the mountain today. On my journey, darkness started to fall and I was full of fear, so I had to return to a safe place.
I was ready to climb the mountain today. But I had so may other things to do, so instead of climbing the mountain I took care of the much more important tasks; I washed my car, mowed the grass and watched the big game. Today the mountain will have to wait.
I was going to climb the mountain today. But as I stared at the mountain in all it's majestic beauty, I knew I had no chance of making it to the top, so I figured why even begin trying.
I had forgotten about climbing the mountain today, until an old friend came by and asked what I was up to lately. I told him about all my plans to climb that mountain someday. I went on and on about how I was going to accomplish the task.
He stopped me and said, "I just got back from climbing that mountain. for the longest time I told myself I was going to try to climb it but never made any progress."
"I almost let the dream of making it to the top die. I came up with every excuse of why I could not make it up the mountain, but never once did I give myself a reason why I could. One day as I stared at the mountain and pondered, I realized that if I didn't make an attempt at this dream all my dreams would eventually die."
" The next morning, I started my climb. It was not easy, and at times I wanted to quit. But no matter what I faced, I placed one foot in front of the other, keeping a steady pace. When the wind tried to blow me over the edge, I kept walking. When the voices inside my head screamed, stop! I focused on my goal, never letting it out of sight. I kept moving forward. I could not quit because I knew I had come too far to stop now. Time and time again, I reassured myself that I was going to finish this journey. I struggled mightily to make it to the top, but I CLIMBED THE MOUNTAIN."
"I have to be going," my friend said. "Tomorrow is a new day to accomplish more dreams. By the way what are you going to do tomorrow?"
I looked at him, with intensity and confidence in my eyes, and said, "I HAVE A MOUNTAIN TO CLIMB."Author unknown


So todays Insanity challenge was 'Plyometric Cardio Circuit'.
I've looked forward to this one because I know Plyometrics are supposed to be good for running form so although this is my first real Insanity workout I was eager to press play.
10 minutes in and I was sweating as much as those guys you see on the Insanity commercial - seriously bucket loads.
The stretching after 10 minutes was awesome - some of those stretches were really stretching out some of my problem areas - and it was while I was doing these stretches that is suddenly dawned on me that the previous 10 minutes had been a bloody warm up :/
By the time the warm up (full blown workout as far as I'm concerned) and stretches were over there was something like 25 minutes left on the clock so I figured "25 minutes that's all. I can do this. Easy".
Hmmmm, yeah, seems not so much!
This workout was pure cardio and torture - but I loved it.
I wouldn't say I kept up with all the fitties on screen ;) but I gave it my best shot. I took more breaks than Shaun T did but I kept moving for those breaks and I made them as short as possible and then I got back in there and did my best to 'Dig deep'.
I found some of the floor movements difficult and especially jumping up from the floor but I'm sure these will improve with the loss of some belly fat :)

Another good day here so far - though it's only 9:30am. The Black Dog is in his kennel - finally! Not just that but I think he's actually sleeping. Ssssssshhhhhh! ;)

Insanity - Perfect name

Today was my first day of the Insanity workout - Fit test day!
Just the warm up Shaun T takes us through had me sweating as much as I would on a 3 mile run.
The actual fit test was nothing  less than completely and utterly knackering BUT it was also soooo enjoyable. Yes, I did say enjoyable! I think I found it enjoyable because I know what this challenge means to me - I need to enjoy this challenge no matter how painful it ends up being.
I really do not know what constitutes a decent fit test result for a 70 lb overweight, 40 year old weeble woman so I could not tell you whether my results were good or not. I'm just going to take them for what they are (my first results) and hope and pray that I see some drastic improvement as I go along.

1. Switch Kicks - 40: I honestly thought I'd find this move easy  but apparantly not! I sucked at it!
2. Power jacks - 30: O my! and O dear!
3. Power knees - 52: Loved this move! :)
4. Power Jumps - 11: It would seem my jumps are not so powerful and are not so easy to do - for a weeble anyway!
5. Globe jumps - 6: Bear in mind 1 rep to this move has 4 jumps to it.
6. Suicide Jumps - 10: Very aptly named and very knackering.
7. Push up jacks - 14: I so wanted to be good at this one but co ordination appears to be an issue.
8. Low plank Oblique - 43: Another enjoyable move but very very hard.

The hardest part for me today wasn't the fit test, it was taking the before photos. I don't mean hard because the stupid camera timer was hard to master but because I do not like my photo being taken (hence the timer. No way is someone taking them for me).
Taking my photo in figure hugging gear goes against everything I have done for the past 20 years but that is how determined I am to do this. I'm not sure when those before images will appear on here though - maybe when I've taken the next ones and can see an improvement :D
Not only have I had to take the photos but I have to send them off for others to see because I want that Tshirt - I made a huge deal about that Tshirt but this is how desperately I want it!

I also made a huge grumble about not being able to take part in the Team Beachbody forum because it's not open to International customers yet BUT Beachbody have been amazing and have set me up an account regardless and I can now use the support online - yay for Beachbody!

Excited.com

Today is a good day :D
I woke up with a positive attitude and am managing to stop negative thoughts before they start or at least respond to the negative thought with a positive one. The Black Dog isn't in his kennel just yet, he's trotting along at my heel giving out a warning growl every now and again but I soon shut him up with a positive thought or change of action.
Today is a good day :D

I'm kinda glad that today isn't a running day because the heat is just too much to run in at the moment - it's probably not much hotter than 25 degrees but that sun is hoooooot, plus we live in the Scottish Highlands so anything over 15 degrees has us sweltering.
So, the perfect job for a hot day when hubby, the daughters and one of the daughters boyfriends are all at home?
Cleaning out this:

Usually we do it once a year as all the reeds start to grow but last year we didn't do it at all so it's full of reeds that are threatening to smother the Lillies.
Although I say 'we' cleared it out I actually mean Wayne got in the pond and pulled out all the reeds, put them into the boat and then towed them to the edge where I emptied it - no way am I getting in there. I've seen the Lizards that chase you (though Wayne insists they're just newts) and it houses some species of giant people eating frogs plus the insects in there look like they're on steroids and have some serious pincers.
Leanne helped by sunbathing whilst shouting out warnings to me about the Frogs that were stalking me.
Stacey helped by being major brave and getting in the pond with the dogs to cool them down. Hilarious to watch a Cairn Terrier jump in after a huge football, somehow manage to get a teeth lock on it and swim back to the bank with it. The damn ball was twice the size of the dog.
As for Staceys boyfriend, well he helped move all those darn reeds once I'd managed to get them out the boat - he's a good lad!
Still not finished though we have one more day of clearing to do in there and then we can make ideas to improve the banks :)

And the best bit of news today ......................drum roll............................ It's heeeeeeeere...............

Insanity has arrived at the Claxson household :D  and I couldn't be happier. I'm all ready to start it on Monday and am ready for the burn and the pain and the nauseous feeling and ..oh yeah....the pain!

Today is a good day :)

Oops, reality check & the Black dog.

After moaning and griping in my earlier post below I suddenly had the urge to run - I know, shocked me too.
I asked leanne if she was up for it, which she was so we got changed and headed out.
Leannes pace still amazes me - she has this graceful lope which I just can't manage.
The sun was blazing and we decided (well it happened to work out this way)  that hills was the way to go. We went 3/4 of the way round the block, turned round and did the hills all over again. 2.8 miles total.
Feeling better already - that Black dog does not like exercise endorphins.

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Well where do I begin? Maybe I'll start with Oops!
Went to Fatclub weigh in last night (really need to get out of the habit of calling it fatclub, been watching too much Little Britain methinks) and managed to gain 2.5lbs in 2 weeks - Oops!
I'd love to be able to say that I don't understand how on earth I managed to find 2.5lbs, that I've been perfect all week and it just doesn't make sense. But I'd be lieing! I've eaten like a Rhippo this week (a cross between a Rhino and a Hippo cos i can't decide which one I actually am) and spent more time than is healthy convincing myself that a packet of biscuits, egg & chips, chocolate etc etc really won't make me put that much weight on. Wrong! Oops!

Now for the reality check. I am only a couple of pounds away from being where I was when I started fatclub Slimming World last year - I've put almost 21 lbs back on - how bloody stupid of me :(

The Black Dog - I refer to my episodes of depression in terms of The Black Dog. Winston Churchill, that amazing wartime leader of Britain, suffered from deep depression and he coined The Black Dog term.
By naming depression The Black Dog we can use this as a tool to help control it. The aim is for the Black Dog to be happily sleeping away in his kennel but tbh I'm happy whenever he's simply running to heel by my side - not barking or snapping at my heels.
I thought I'd got a handle on him and that he was behaving himself. I think I may have ignored his growls of warning because the last few days he's managed to have me cornered with his snapping and snarling.
He's took the fun out of every hobby I have - I don't find any pleasure in gardening, photography, cardmaking or exercise - I'm seriously struggling here!
I have mental tools to use when this happens to get the Black Dog to back off, such as listening to music via headphones (Black Dog hates music), this helps me to drown out those negative thoughts (Black dog snapping and snarling), I make a real effort to stop negative thought and replace with positive thought (Black Dog hates positive) and I force myself to get out for a walk (Black Dog loathes the happy endorphins from exercise) but today I seriously struggled with any of them.
I looked at the gardens and thought "what's the point", I looked at my crafts and thought "why bother" and I looked at my cameras and thought "seriously, why bother, you're shit at this". I felt seriously detached from anything and that worried me more than feeling 'depressed' or 'down' or 'sad'. Feeling detached is a new one for me - I just don't give an ants fart about any of it. What's the point? I slog in the garden, no one uses it and then 2 days later it all needs doing again. I take photos and they're all shite, I make a card and it just ends up in someones bin eventually, I do the housework and it's all got to be done again day after day after day.
Everywhere I look inside and outside all I see are the weeds that need doing, the drive that needs weedkilling, the lake that needs clearing and all the tidying and clearing that needs doing.

All I want to do is sit in the house and speak to no one and eat!
This ones bad!

I was so hoping that Insanity would be here by Monday - how ironic that I am hoping a workout titled Insanity will bring some sanity back to my mind - but judging by the tracking it won't be. In fact it made it as far as Dundee in Scotland and has now detoured back to |Leicester in England (I live in the far north of scotland) - go figure!

Is it what it seems? + UPDATE

I've been excited about this Insanity workout for a while now. I ordered it the other day and am patiently waiting its arrival so I can transform my body the Insanity way.
However a couple of things have come up that seriously risk me losing the motivation to do it.

The Insanity TV commercial over here in the UK lasts a good 30 mins and in that time we see Shaun T showing us parts of the workout, loads of before and after pictures, participants stories etc etc and then a huge deal is made about the Insanity Tshirt (and I mean a huuuuuuge deal) and all the online support, guidance, motivation etc that is available via the BeachBody website - all this included within the workout package.
I got my email the other day telling me my workout had been shipped and sending me a link to the BeachBody website where I can sign up, find a coach to help me and meet other workout buddies.
I had a few problems registering on the site so I contacted Beachbody about it and guess what? - It ain't available to International customers - WTF!!! How the f**k do they get away with adding it to the TV commercial and using it as an incentive to buy the programme if it's not included?
I duly sent of my complaint on this but no doubt it will be several more days before I even recieve a bog standard reply. In the mean time I have another concern - that Tshirt!!
I make no bones about the fact that the Tshirt was a serious incentive to me to complete this programme. Now that may sound a tad anal to many of you but in the commercial it's a major incentive to complete the programme and it certainly worked on getting my interest up.
I'm currently waiting to hear back as to whether the Tshirt is available to us in the UK. I've checked out the BB website and it certainly doesn't say it isn't (but then neither did the forum, I had to enquire) so I'm hoping that Beachbody are at least honouring that part of the deal.
I kinda feel deflated and ripped off! I've had a heap of DVD workouts and they're all festering away somewhere after boredom set in. The Insanity workout appears different but what helps to make the entire package different (and what gets buyers reeeeally interested) is the community spirit shown in the adverts, the support, the interaction and most all that bloody Tshirt!

I'm still really excited about completing the Insanity workout and I guess it's stupid that such small details have taken away some of the interest but there you have it. I can cope with no forum access but damn I want that Tshirt:)

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UPDATE:

I've spent way too much time trying to figure out what I can and can't use of my purchased Insanity programme so I managed to find a Live chat link on the BeachBody website.
I'm never too sure about these Live chats actually being 'Live' and I had serious doubts that Maria Garcia was anything more than an automated service that responds by picking up key words in your questions, but anyhow I got the info I needed

  Maria Garcia: Thank you for contacting Beachbody, my name is Maria Garcia. If at any time you feel you're not receiving excellent service or feel unsatisfied with what I am doing, please let me know immediately and I will do all within my power to accomplish your request. How may I help you?

Linda Claxson: I am a UK customer and have just bought the Insanity workout. I've just found out that despite the commercial saying we could use the BeachBody forum / coach etc we actually can't. Could you tell me if uk customers are still able to apply for the Tshirt at the end? This is a major reason for buying this workout!

Maria Garcia: Sure I can assist you with that.

Could you please verify the following information so that I may locate your account?
-Billing Name (first and last)
-Billing Address
-City, State, & Zip code   

Linda Claxson: Mrs Linda Claxson, ******************** UK

Maria Garcia: Thank you. Please give me a couple of minutes  while I check this for you. Maria Garcia: Thank you for your patience. Maria Garcia: The Team Beachbody game is only available to residents of the United States and Canada at this time.   Maria Garcia: However, for Free T-Shirt you can certainly send an email to successstories@beachbody.com

Linda Claxson: Thank you for confirming that. Do you know whether there is any intention of allowing UK customers to become part of the 'team' in the future? This is stated on the commercial over here that we can use this service and is part of the reason I bought this workout.

Maria Garcia: I am not sure when the option will be available . Maria Garcia: I have forwarded this request to the concern department and they will take care of this option and hope this option get available to the customers in near future.

Linda Claxson: OK, thank you for your help. Goodbye!

So, she confirmed I can't use the Beachbody coach facility but at least I can go for that Tshirt.
Honestly, if she had said I couldn't get it I was all set to send the programme back (once it's actually arrived) and then buy it much cheaper on the net. Why the heck should I buy from BeachBody at a higher price when I can't use some of what they sold me!
Just to prove a point, here's part of the UK based advert claiming what we get

Elite Nutrition Plan – designed to fuel your body for these intense workouts.
Fitness Guide – short and to the point. It's just the information you need. We want you working out—not reading.
INSANITY^® Calendar – organised into month 1 and month 2 to track your progress, set workout goals, and keep you motivated. Plus, the Fit Test Tracker tracks your results as you watch your body transform before your eyes.
FREE Online Support Tools – stay motivated with round-the-clock access to fitness experts and peer support.

I know immediately how they're gonna get away with not providing something they claim we are buying and that's by saying it's a free gift - I just know there's gonna be some way round it!
Oh well! Looks like I'll just have to hope that they get the International part sorted before I progress to the next workout. If not then I'm gonna buy it elsewhere!

Having said all that I am sooooooo excited to start the programme knowing that I can at least get the Tshirt :)