"Illness is the most heeded of doctors: to goodness and wisdom we only make promises; pain we obey". ~Marcel Proust
The first time I slipped a disc in my back I was about 18 years old. To cut a long story short I worked with horses and loved my job, on this particular day it was my job to fill a stable with bales of hay and straw and seeing as my boss was out and I couldn't drive I would have to barrow the bales from one end of the farm to the other - anything less than 4 bales on a barrow was deemed a waste of effort. I'd spent a good twenty minutes throwing the bales off the stack and into the yard ready for barrowing when the heavens opened, and I mean the rain was torrential. It only lasted about 20 mins but some of the bales had gotten so wet they'd doubled in weight and I still had to barrow 4 - 6 at a time.
I felt my back 'go' pretty early on but with no one else around to sort out some 20 odd horses I knew I'd have to keep going, even now I can remember the agony of every step and if I remember right I didn't actually manage to get all the bales loaded. By the end of the night with all horses fed, watered, groomed and the yard brushed I then admitted the agony I was in but I guess that because I'd shuffled about all afternoon nobody really believed how serious the pain was - then again I'm the girl who went to school and did PE for 3 days with a broken arm because I didn't dare tell my mum I'd broken it falling off a horse I shouldn't have been on.
My mum insisted I went to the docs immediately with my back though and I remember him telling me that I'd also managed to tear muscles on top of slipping the disc and that I needed at least 6 weeks off work.
"I can't" I insisted "I work with horses, I have to go in"
"Your choice" stated the doc "You want to be in a wheelchair by the time your 30, it's your choice".
Needless to say that got my attention and in fact I quit the horse job that day.
After several weeks rest I went back to work as a groom/jockey at a racing stables but within a week I knew my back was never going to be strong enough to support me while galloping in a jockey position - the pain would literally stop me breathing.
That was 25 years ago and now I'm right back in that pain.
My lower back has always been weak since that first slipped disc and I've grown used to the daily pain but there's 1 rule I always follow :- always bend from the knees and NOT from the back.
Last week I picked up a heavy planter and forgot the rule for some stupid reason. I felt the pain immediately and yet STILL continued to shift the planter.
Now I'm paying the price laid up with a slipped disc and unlikely to be able to do either run next week that my daughter and I have trained for.
Painkillers are working to an extent and 1 week later I have some improvement but as much as I want to do the run on Sunday (docs already said no) I don't want to make my back worse and increase recovery time.
So until I can run again I'll try to stay focused and not over indulge my sweet tooth while I feel sorry for myself.