Wednesday 9 May 2012

Fear!

I've been thinking over the last few days that it's all well and good to note down all those reasons we have to lose weight but what about the things right in the back of our minds that actually make us NOT want to lose weight?
Do we write those down too? Is it good to be able to compare the pros with the cons? Should there even be any cons to losing weight?
Well I had a good old think and this is what I came up with for my own reasons that weight loss may be a tad scary
  • Saggy skin. I am not a vain person (I hate looking in a mirror) and while I hate seeing my bulging stomach I seriously worry about saggy skin. I have a few stretch marks from having twins and have always considered my skin quite elastic BUT I'm 40 now and I've been told that maybe my skin won't have the elasticity that I'm hoping for - apparantly miracles such as this don't occur!
  • People may talk to me more. I know that sounds weird but I have shut myself away for so long that the thought of random conversation terrifies me. Will being slimmer encourage me out more thus result in people talking to me??? Hmmmm!
  • What if it changes me? 
  • What if it doesn't change me? (I can't figure that one out either!!!)
  • What if I no longer like who I am? Now that thought kinda mystifies me because I obviously cannot like who I am now. Why? You may ask. Well, my theory is that I know what stuffing my face with bar after bar after bar of Dairy Milk chocolate will do to my health. I know it will sabotage any hope of weightloss and feeling good about myself. I know it will clog my arteries and increase my cholesterol level. I also know judging by the heart palpitations I get after eating it that it could do some serious damage, and yet I eat it anyway! So imagine how much a person must hate themselves to be prepared to do that to them!
So once you have the pros and cons all neatly written down what do you do with them?
Well apparantly you turn the negatives into positives. So this is what I cam up with:
  • Saggy skin. Yes the thought scares me BUT it is surely better to be a healthy weight with the prospect of adding a few years to life but have a bit of saggy skin than to be overweight, unhappy and die too young from heart disease! I am not brave enough to go through any kind of surgery so I will love my saggy bits. I won't consider them the downside to losing weight but as a reminder of what too much weight can do to a body! Heck, I may even name them!
  • People may talk to me more. Yup scary now but weightloss will hopefully bring more confidence in myself and if I'm more confident in myself then mayhap I will feel confident enough to engage in conversation and not hide away at home. 
  • What if it changes me? What if it does - does it matter? There is no inherent evil in me so any change could only be for the better surely!
  • What if it doesn't change me? Well the people I love now love me back for who I am right now so it won't really matter will it!
  • What if I no longer like who I am? Bit of a moo question really isn't it. I obviously don't like myself right now for the reasons stated above so I'm guessing it can only get better.

I officially give myself permission to stop worrying about what I percieve as negative effects of weightloss because there are none! 

3 comments:

  1. I found you from Runs for Cookies, I hope you dont mind me following you.

    Weight Loss will change you in one way or another. When I first lost 80lbs (pre-marriage and pre-baby days) I loved the way I felt in my skin. I did not hide from the mirror anymore and I could smile when I looked at myself. I cant do that now and I want to feel that way again.

    :-)

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  2. ryn: Thank you!! I never thought about advertising or looking for a buddy/group. I am def going to look into that later!!

    :-)

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  3. I have a mental block about a size 14. Everytime I get close to getting down there I start to self sabotage. What seems like 100 years ago I was down to a size 10. So I know I can get past 14, but the last two serious attempts I made at weight loss "recently" once I got close I started to self sabotage. This time I am determined to get through it, but I wish I could pinpoint WHY that size clothing scares me so.

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